Clatter in a Jar
by Ailie and Ana
Summary: a really weird, but funny story, crazy too... has nothing to do with jars though.
1. Find Out Where Your Boss Shops

Clatter in the Jar  
  
Authors: Ailie and Ana  
  
Rated: PG  
  
disclaimer: we don't own any of the characters. we do however, own 11 cats. just thought i'd share.  
  
Authors note: Yeah yeah it's werid, plotless, and stupid. it started out as a game, you could only copy and paste what you wanted to say, no typing. so that's what it's so weird.  
  
You-know-who was basically Better then me in someone's lunch. last night You-know-who went to math and talked to drew.  
  
Abandoned with the scary Matron During lunch Harry mentally scolded himself. "All of a sudden I'm in the library reading this one book, 'Book of Shadows'."   
"And what do we have here?" She asked poking it again  
"I'm still in my work uniform." Harry Don't disguise your voice Thought Harry.  
  
'Find out where your boss shops' Thought You-know-who.  
  
Hermione move around from place to place, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."  
'want fries with that?' Thought Harry.  
  
"Uh transfigurations is what I seem to do best" Said You-know-who. "I'm still beating myself up over this whole thing."  
  
"Look out!" Ron warned. "I have to finish the egg drawings!"  
  
"i've been playing solitare for WELL over an hour" Hermione Said.  
  
"I've been wrestling with a giant," Said Professor McGonagall.  
  
Eric got yelled at.  
  
'wee!' Thought Harry.  
  
Mr Weasley drew the white curtains around the separate beds. "fricking HOT! it's china."  
  
'I put a banner up' Thought Harry.  
  
"I want my breakfast!" Dudley shouted again. "then i ate dinner" Dudley shouted.  
  
"I didn't think the Great Hall could kill us!" Professor Snape yelled.  
  
'we watched a movie bout ghosts.' Thought Harry. 'A bucket of water appeared over his head.' Thought Harry. 'whooooosh!' Thought Harry.  
  
"I saw Mark and Lydia." Said Professor McGonagall.  
  
"where exactly is Shut Up?" Vernon shouted.  
  
'I NEED A SODA' Thought Harry.  
  
"And they all shouted.The town was saved.But at what cost?" Ron warned.  
  
"Sir, yes, Sir!!!" Sorting Hat said .  
  
'Buzz buzz' Thought Harry.  
  
"I need a therapist" Said You-know-who.  
  
"I have a feeling that you do not want to have to mop up a wet floor." Said Malfoy  
  
Harry's eyes looked questioning  
  
'Lane B. had these cute little skirts and tie up cropped pants and shirts so I bought two skirts' Thought Harry  
  
"I have a feeling that I has to go to the bathroom" Malfoy smugly continued  
  
'EXCUSE ME???' Thought Harry  
  
"that's not your life line!" Ron shouted  
  
"last night You-know-who talked to michelle and katie"  
  
Hermione herself had replied, "I doubt it's anything that serious"  
  
'i went to lunch wehere i said hello to my good buddy david' Thought Harry  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  



	2. God save THE Gorillaz!

"Hello Harry," Harry thought  
"Adrien Brody is hosting SNL!" Harry thought  
"Here," Mrs. Weasley said, making Ron pant from the coleslaw  
"Tomorrow is the big day!!" said Ron.  
"It's an absolute disaster" Thought Harry  
"WHAT?! YOU SAID IT WOULD BE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD" You-know-who cried  
"But we just ate," Hermione said.  
"I am a major loser, I just had I dream I was going out with a rock" thought Harry  
"Don't turn around," hissed the voice Hermione  
"I still reek of perfume" thought Harry  
"How observant," Ron burst in.  
" i can't digest pumpkin seeds. " said You-Know-Who  
"Oh my god," Hermione said.  
"you aren't the brightest crayon in the box." Thought Harry.  
"What did he say?" Mr. Weasley said sarcastically  
"Why do I bother to volunteer for such things?" Said Ron.  
"Should we tell the Ministry?" Percy asked You-Know-Who  
"Did I mention it was raining and snowing?" said You-Know-Who  
"No, no, and NO!" Ron Cried  
"think im gonna wear my skirt tooomorrow.." thought Harry.  
"Twwwwweeeeeettttttt!" Harry thought  
"It's so preeeeeettttyyy!" Yelled You-Know-Who  
"I hope they snap out of it," George said  
"For some odd reason, I started feeling extremely cynical and depressed about an hour ago..." said Hermione.  
"Where's the Snitch?" Yelled Percy  
"candy candy candyyyyyyyyy la lalaaaa lalala laaalalalaaaaaaaaa lalalaaalalalalaalalalalalaa lalaal lalaaaaaaaaaaaaa" thought Harry.  
"And Harry flies forward to take the foul." Harry thought  
"and then i played the CANDY GAME!!!!" said You-Know-Who  
Fred and George gave them all a cup of hot cocoa before sending them to bed.  
"OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AWESOME xD!!!!" Thought Harry  
"Goodbye Harry Potter." Harry thought  
"God save THE Gorillaz!!!!" Yelled Ron  
"Ron! Get Pig out of the kitchen!" Harry thought  
"you go and check out Gandalf!" Ron replied.   
Mr. Weasley groaned and got up from his chair and helped his wife with the sandwiches.  
"tsk tsk, what a perv..." said Hermione  
Ron was digging around in Hermione's trunk for something  
"YES! I FINALLY GET THE DONUTS!" Said Ron.  
After a few minutes of silence Hermione exclaimed, "There was an attack in Ireland!"  
"for the first time in history~ it's gonna start rainin' men!" Said You-Know-Who.  
"it's raining men hallelujiah it's raining men amen!" Sang You-Know-Who  
"Well, now Fudge can't deny that Harry is back," Harry thought  
"i'm suddenly bored." said Ron  
Harry flipped  
"You missed our little pizza party today" thought Harry  
A few minutes later Ron had fallen asleep.  
"i think i'm too obsessed with being a special agent" thought Harry  
Ron yawned, sitting up and stretching.  
"I can't believe I forgot my calculator" said Hermione.  
Ron changed into a shiny Prefect Badge.  
"The food was yumms thas for sure. " thought Harry  
"I kept it a secret." Hermione said.  
"I still think Buzz Lightyear was the first person on the moon." thought Harry.  
The three of them loaded Neville into a carriage  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	3. Lower your auto insurance costs

"Okay, listening to Barbie Girl on repeat is a bad thing, right?" said Ron.  
"I know kung fu." said You-Know-Who  
"I be tired." said Snape.  
"My specialty is writing fighting scenes" Ron yelled  
Harry walked into the house  
'Last night, OMG the fire alarm went off!' thought Harry  
"how can he be back?" Hermione asked  
'Oh yeah, and should i go blonde?' thought Harry  
"And risk the neighbors finding out about your abnormality?????" You-Know-Who said  
"I FOUND A NEW OBSESSION!!!" Said Ron  
"How did this happen, it's nearly impossible to do" Hermione said  
"LOVE IT LOVE IT!" Said You-Know-Who  
'Not that I'm going to lie or anything, the truth is far more convincing then any lie I could come up with.' Harry thought  
Harry found a space in a corner where he wouldn't be noticed and waited.   
"I luff you," said Snape to his pet rock  
Ron jumped out the window headfirst.  
'i'm poking a voodoo doll that you do not know that i made just for you' thought Harry.  
Snape was grinning as he shot spells at random people without warning.  
"OMG NEW. POKEMON. MOVIE. FRIDAY, How come I was not informed of this!!" Yelled Snape  
"Good Gods Harry!" Hermione yelled  
"Lower your auto insurance costs" said Snape to Hermione  
"I don't believe in ink." Ron remarked  
'I sit...wif nuffin to do and I'm hungry' though Harry.  
"May I ask why you are all staring, unless I'm greatly mistaken I haven't just grown horns." You-Know-Who said  
"Timmy is sooooo cool. Everybody LOVES Timmy." Said Hermione.  
"I'm sorry, Sir," said Ron  
"Then why is it blue?" asked Snape  
"This porridge is too hot!" You-Know-Who yelled  
"Pomegranates should only be redish pinky red." said Draco  
Harry decided to try to sleep  
"I think I might have one in my backpack. *checks* No, I'm afraid it escaped." said You-Know-Who  
Snape prowled by the door again, and muttered about eating grandma.  
"you elf born of plastic bags and complimentary soy sauce packets!" Screamed Hermione  
"Floo Powder." Harry thought  
"Not even in a crowded place do they hear us..." cried Ron  
"I am not your girl friend." You-Know-Who cried  
"You leach on a hot rock." Replied Snape  
"Mr. Potter, please stand." Thought Harry  
"Oh shut up you oven without a bake setting." Draco said to Harry  
"Grandma needs something to eat." Hermione said  
Snape kept bursting into the room in hysterics, clutching Mrs. Norris like a pocket watch.  
"I'm selling a good grill. Leaks its gas supply, but what can ya do." said You-Know-Who  
Malfoy ran crazily down the corridor  
"Maybe it's like a really creepy old man that hangs out at the bus stop and tries to talk to people, and all he wants to do is tell them they should get an umbrella because it's going to rain." said Hagrid   
Harry was sprouting wings  
"Remember, don't open the windows to strange, disturbing entities" warned Dumbledore  
"I dyed my teacher's hair blue" Hermione said proudly  
" Shlierdip! Hide the cow in yonder llama pit!" Dumbledore instructed.  
This caused Harry to envision the chair flying into McGonagall's face  
"leave the french toast alone! Morning glory saps wifojiwojr!" screamed McGonagall  
"Shall I continue?" Harry thought  
"Raisins rise from death! Cower in their mini-prune like goodness!" Dumbledore cried out  
All four occupants in the room had the same shocked expression  
"Insanity. We Deliver," said the Pizza Boy  
Harry only smiled before thinking.  
" I never thought I'd encounter an entire room so terribly devoid of humor and reasoning." Hermione sighed 


End file.
